


Aesthesis

by orphan_account



Category: GOT7, JJ Project
Genre: Alternate Universe - Superheroes/Superpowers, Bottom Im Jaebum | JB, Crying, Hurt/Comfort, Light BDSM, M/M, Mildly Dubious Consent, Rough Sex, Top Park Jinyoung | Jr., evil jinyoung
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-10
Updated: 2018-05-10
Packaged: 2019-05-04 14:21:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,693
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14594889
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Sometimes people have bad days. Sometimes people feel too much and the excess spills out of their eyes as tears. For some people, that happens while reading a book, or watching TV, or visiting family. For Jaebum it happened while he was face down on a bed, getting fucked hard and fast by Jinyoung, who was almost his lover without the love part.





	Aesthesis

Everyone had bad days sometimes. It was just the way the world worked. A giant set of cosmic scales that tipped people higher and lower depending on how heavy the other side was. But Jaebum usually found himself on a high, which was great, because his lows always involved supervillains and billions of dollars of property damage and threats to his life.

Today was no different. It was a bad day, and it did involve a villain threatening to kill him and then bringing down a few buildings on his head when the more hands on approach failed to get the job done. But at least there was consolatory pizza with the rest of his members to look forward to and then the usual bout of angry 'sorry I tried to help some guy kill you' sex with Jinyoung (who was one of those aforementioned super-villains). Jaebum could get through the bad days - without turning to a bottle - if there was something to look forward to at the end of it all. Pizza and sex, what more could a guy need after getting his ass kicked? Other than some beer maybe, Jaebum thought to himself, grabbing a bottle out of the fridge as he walked by; stuffing his slice of pizza into his mouth whole to freeze up a hand so that he could pop the top.

The pizza was good. Actually the pizza was great. But the sex was always better.

There was just something about getting down and dirty with Seoul's resident psycho that did it for Jaebum. Maybe it was the fact that Jinyoung was hated by the other members, maybe Jaebum took some kind of guilty pleasure in that, or in seeing Yugyeom's face after he caught Jinyoung leaving Jaebum's bedroom and knowing that the boys still didn't speak to one another. Maybe it had something to do with the thrill he got fighting crime, the same rush of pleasure and danger and fear through his veins and tingling up his spine whenever Jinyoung backed him up against a wall. The adrenaline, the rush and then the crash afterwards; the limpness of his limbs, the heaviness of his head as he sank belly-first onto the mattress with Jinyoung's weight behind him, above him, pinning him. In danger, trapped, but still safe because Jinyoung hadn't really hurt him yet.

Jinyoung did hurt him though. Jinyoung hurt him really well. The good kind of hurt where Jaebum found it hard to sit properly for days afterwards, wincing every time he shifted in his seat. Or where his legs ached from being pushed over Jinyoung's shoulders for too long, or the stiffness of his arms from behind bound above his head or behind his back and once over his face so he couldn't see anything, which had been equal parts thrilling and terrifying. The bruises that generally covered his body the next day (and two more days after that) were marks Jaebum wore with pleasure, the same went for the bite marks along his throat and collarbones: low cut v-neck tops worn purposely to show them off, sly grins and teasing winks shot at anyone who asked after his bed partner, the sudden smug feeling he got when Yugyeom met his eyes, the only one who knew that Jinyoung preferred Jaebum over them all and Jaebum knew Yugyeom wouldn't ever tell, because he wasn't quite sure who the argr one was and he'd rather not think of either that way.

Jinyoung hurt him when they fought too, keeping up appearances because no matter how many times Jaebum casually suggested it, Jinyoung refused to abstain from evil-doing. Apparently, he was just too good at it. Such talent should never be wasted, Jinyoung had said, smirking, before he had kissed Jaebum breathless. They didn't care enough about each other to really try and force allegiance. It was all in good fun, and Jinyoung had cut down on the killing people thing and Jaebum hadn't created anymore magic-blocking handcuffs so they considered themselves even enough.

Jaebum liked it when Jinyoung fucked him and Jaebum loved it when Jinyoung hurt him and Jinyoung liked to hurt him so it was A-pluses all around. Jinyoung had his own life, blowing shit up or whatever, and Jaebum had evil-doers to stop. Jaebum snorted at that thought, sneaking another slice of pizza from the table as he made his way from the kitchen, around the couches, and over to the door.

"Calling it a night, guys! Eat up and show yourselves out." This was Jaebum's floor. He didn't mind having the guys over, but he also enjoyed a good fuck bent over the back of the couch, so unless he felt like getting arrested Jaebum wasn't in the mood to do that in front of an audience.

Jinyoung was waiting for him in his room when Jaebum got there. As he closed and locked the door, Jinyoung flicked his wrist and stripped them both of their clothes with magic.

"Got this for you," Jaebum offered as he handed over the slice. "But since you're not going to eat it..." He trailed off. Jaebum grinned at the raised eyebrow Jinyoung offered him, before taking a bite from the pizza. He crawled up onto the bed, pizza in one hand and beer in the other and seated himself on his haunches at Jinyoung's feet.

Jinyoung was spread flat along the bed, hands folded casually behind his head again and feet pointed toes first, almost touching Jaebum's half-hard cock. His hair was spread across the pillow, dark and soft and Jaebum wanted to lean forward and run his fingers through the strands, but they were greasy from the pizza and Jinyoung'd probably cut them off if he dared.

"I'm hunger for something a little... more fulfilling," Jinyoung drawled. As he spoke, his eyes raked along Jaebum's form, making him shiver in anticipation. Jaebum stuffed what remained into his mouth and swallowed without chewing. For a second he thought he'd choke, but then one of Jinyoung's feet stroked lightly under his sac and Jaebum gasped, forcing himself to swallow if only so he could moan obscenely.

The beer was dropped to the floor over the side of the bed, half-full but it could be cleaned up tomorrow. Jaebum didn't have the will power to care about it then, more interested in what Jinyoung would do next.

"Hands behind your back." Jaebum complied soundlessly, locking his fingers behind his back after twisting his wrists so that his arms made the infinity symbol. Rope magically wound its way up his arms, down to his wrists and hands, and even around his shoulders to draw tight across his throat. "Lean back now." Jaebum bent backwards, slowly and carefully, not wanting to tumble off the edge of the bed. Jinyoung moved to kneel beside him, pushing him further back with one insistent hand on Jaebum's arc reactor. His chest was heaving, anticipation and arousal flooding through his veins, as strong as the fear that made his heart rest as Jinyoung kept pressing him down until he was flat out on the bed between his own bent and spread legs, his hands trapped beneath him.

A lone finger trailed circles around Jaebum's belly button; Jinyoung's naturally colder body temperature against his heated skin made Jaebum shiver, goosebumps springing up all along the flesh of his stomach. He whined, low and needy, like a dog begging for a treat and Jinyoung rewarded him with a firmer stroke of that same finger. It dipped into his navel and out again, down to trail through the hair at his crotch and back up to run circles around his right nipple and Jaebum moaned for more as a blunt nail scratched him lightly, making his back arch up into the touch.

"Silence yourself," Jinyoung whispered as he lent down to blow across the other nipple.

With no hands free to stuff into his mouth and no pillow beneath his head to attempt to turn towards, Jaebum was forced to bite his bottom lip. He tried to stifle his moans as directed, but it was hard to want to since he knew how much Jinyoung loved listening to him wail and beg beneath him. But Jinyoung also loved being obeyed, and he was that much rougher when Jaebum managed to keep silent long enough to satisfy his own desires. So Jaebum bit his bottom lip until it bled, and when Jinyoung lent down to lick the blood away, Jaebum bit his tongue too.

Jinyoung gave a sharp laugh, quick and brutal, and over too soon; like the finger that had suddenly forced its way into Jaebum's body and pulled back again when Jaebum gave a cry of pain.

"Naughty," Jinyoung chastised. "I said silence." Jaebum's eyes were wide, and there were tears pooling at the corners, but Jinyoung ignored it because pain was known to make eyes water, and Jaebum would not be in such pain for long. His hand moved to stroke Jaebum's cock in long, sure strokes, his palm curled fully around the length. "Tell me you want this," Jinyoung demanded, but when Jaebum opened his mouth to answer, in reminder of his previous request for silence, Jinyoung squeezed his cock warningly.

Jaebum snapped his mouth shut again, closing his eyes and breathing deeply through his nose as he tried to control the sudden urge to plead: for more or for it to stop he wasn't sure, normally he'd beg for more, but today something wasn't right. He had to keep his eyes closed while Jinyoung prepared him, because otherwise he was afraid that he might start to cry. Why? Jaebum didn't know; but he could feel the burning in his eyes, the tension at the edges of his forehead and the way his chest kept heaving and stuttering as he tried to breathe.

"Up," Jinyoung whispered, hands suddenly on Jaebum's shoulders. He pulled Jaebum to his knees, and held him there with his arms still bound behind his back, balanced on bended knees with his thighs spread wide. A hand pushed at the hollow between his shoulder blades, forcing Jaebum to bend forward until he was face down on the mattress with his legs still bent. It was uncomfortable, but nothing they hadn't done before, and Jaebum knew that once Jinyoung was inside of him, once Jinyoung was lost to the feel of him, he'd pull Jaebum back up so that he was sitting in Jinyoung's lap, riding them both to completion, and he'd unbind Jaebum's hands so one could tangle into Jinyoung's hair as Jinyoung's mouthed at Jaebum's throat and the other would fist over Jinyoung's hand, over Jaebum's cock until they came together.

This was nothing new. This was nothing frightening. But today must have been one of those bad days, but the kind that no one bothered to warn people about or show on TV or talk about on subways since Jaebum had no fucking clue what was wrong with him, because today when Jinyoung moved to kneel behind Jaebum, Jaebum suddenly realised that he couldn't breathe. There was no air, he had no lungs; there was just Jinyoung on top of him, Jinyoung's cock against his hole and Jaebum unable to resist him. He wanted to shout stop, wanted to take a minute to figure out what the hell he was panicking over because dammit there was nothing to panic over, but when he opened his mouth all that came out was a feeble, "uuuh".

"I said silence," Jinyoung barked, accompanied by a slap across Jaebum's left butt cheek. "Don't make me repeat myself again," he threatened. There was no menace in it, and nothing would happen, except Jinyoung might leave Jaebum there tied up and hard and needy while he went to sleep beside him. But the words were accompanied by the press of Jinyoung's cock, the slow spread of his muscles around the head and then one quick thrust to bury his full length inside without warning. And Jaebum screamed.

"Silent!" Jinyoung slapped him again; this time it was little more than a tap at the head of Jaebum's cock, but it made him jump back as if in agony and he cried out in fear. Panicked, garbled words escaped from his mouth and his shoulders shook, bucking beneath the hand Jinyoung moved to press him back down.

Jinyoung wasn't sure what to do or what was going on. This had never happened before, and when Jaebum said no it was generally accompanied by his hands pulling Jinyoung closer, or one of those smirks that just begged to be wiped off of his face. Jaebum had never said no to Jinyoung and meant it before, and even when he meant it he didn't say no. More often than not he said, "go fuck yourself" and threaten to show Jinyoung the way out. But this... Jinyoung didn't know what to do with this.

"Jaebum?" He tried, voice soft and as calm as he could make it sound. Jaebum gave a whine, too much like a terrified animal for Jinyoung to be comfortable with, and though Jaebum stopped trembling and babbling, Jinyoung knew it was time he too stopped. "Jaebum? What's the matter?" he was careful and gentle as he pulled out of the other; quickly releasing the bindings on his arms and throat, and helping Jaebum back up onto his knees.

Jaebum didn't seem to be able to support himself, and he fell to his side the second Jinyoung let him go; curled with his legs back against his chest but with his arms around them this time. He hid his face, but not fast enough for Jinyoung to miss the tears that stained it, or the fact that his eyes were still wet and his lip was bloody from biting it.

"Sorry! Sorry!" Jaebum mumbled into his arm. He wasn't even sure why he was crying. He was fine, he was! Jinyoung hadn't hurt him or forced him, and they had done this plenty of times before: this was the way they did it, this was always how they did it. Nothing had changed. Except it had, because today was too much, too fast and while usually Jaebum was into that, today he wanted things slower and he hadn't known how to ask for it. He hadn't known what he wanted, he still didn't, and because he couldn't think of what to say, what to ask, Jaebum cried.

"Sorry," he stuttered again through his tears.

Jinyoung was quick to lie down in front of him, on his side, facing Jaebum. Hands were slower about reaching out, wanting to touch his lover but not wanting to frighten him further. When they were finally touching, Jaebum was the one to shuffle closer, burrowing into Jinyoung's chest in a way he never had before, an ear pressed closely to hear Jinyoung's heart beating anxiously away. Jaebum's own was as bad; it almost felt like it would explode at any second, but Jinyoung's arms around him calmed it down. They stopped his tears, and slowed his breathing, and wasn't that stupid because it was Jinyoung's touch that had panicked him in the first place!

"What just happened?" Jinyoung's voice was soft, hesitant. He was almost afraid of the answer, because surely it could bode for nothing well. He was not a rapist, and yet that was how Jaebum had reacted to his touch; he had always hurt his lover, but Jaebum had always enjoyed it, had never been truly hurt, and yet he had screamed this time, trembled and cried and tried to escape and Jinyoung didn't know why or what he had done wrong. But he was very afraid that he had done wrong.

"Nothing. It's stupid." Jaebum didn't pull away from Jinyoung's chest before he spoke, so Jinyoung could feel each movement of Jaebum's mouth against his bare skin. He tried not to shudder, but he couldn't deny it was arousing. The feel of Jaebum pressed fully against him was arousing. It was new and comforting, and something he hadn't even realised he'd wanted; the intimacy, the closeness, the trust. Jinyoung enjoyed it as much as the control Jaebum let him have, and it was doing wonders to renew the erection that Jaebum's panic had wilted. "I don't even know why I was crying." Jaebum gave a half-hearted shrug, voice sullen and bitter, angry at himself for whatever stupid reason had made him react like that.

"It's not stupid." Jinyoung chided, "You were frightened. I should have realised."

Jaebum snorted, pulling back enough so that Jinyoung could see him roll his eyes. "I didn't know I was frightened. How were you supposed to know? God I'm pathetic."

"No you aren't," Jinyoung was quick to reassure.

For a couple who insisted they used the other solely for sex, they felt more for the other than they could admit to. They were too quick to comfort; too quick to reassure that their fears weren't stupid, that dreams were possible; to insist the other was welcome to watch them work or read silently beside them. Perhaps they felt too much and that was the problem? Maybe it had overwhelmed him, or maybe it had underwhelmed him, because what if he felt too much and Jinyoung not enough and Jaebum was too invested in the answer to ask?

“Are you alright now?” Jinyoung asked. He reached one hand up to run his fingers lightly under each of Jaebum’s eyes, one at a time, wiping away the tears. After wiping the wetness onto the sheets beside him, Jinyoung used his hand to cup Jaebum’s cheek, holding the other’s face so that he couldn’t turn away.

“Yeah,” Jaebum mumbled. He still trembled lightly, fingers curled into fists to keep them still, but he no longer felt like there was an anvil sitting on his chest and his heart no longer pounded with terror in his chest. “I think I’m fine. Sorry again. What a way to kill the mood, huh?” He chuckled, grinning up at Jinyoung who smiled fondly back at him.

“What do you want me to do?” Jinyoung didn’t know what to do, and he doubted Jaebum understood much better than he had what had gone wrong, but he knew he should do something. Maybe he could hold the man, continue to enjoy the closeness that he had only just discovered existed between them? Maybe Jaebum would want to have sex with him anyway, but slower, gentler, spooned together with Jaebum curled in his arms? Maybe Jaebum would ask him how Jinyoung felt about him, and force Jinyoung to admit to feelings that he wasn’t even sure he felt, because Jinyoung wanted to know how Jaebum felt and didn’t want to be the one to ask, and if Jaebum asked then Jaebum had to answer too.

But Jaebum did none of those things, he asked for nothing that Jinyoung would have expected. Instead, smiling shyly, Jaebum closed his eyes before he whispered, “Talk to me?”

“About what?” Jinyoung asked, sounding confused and looking rather stunned.

“Anything. Your home or somewhere else, somewhere you’ve been and I never will. I hardly know anything about you and it’s been months!” Jaebum paused, eyebrows drawing down as he frowned and Jinyoung wanted to wipe the look off of his face. “You don’t have to. S’not like we’re really together or anything anyway.”

“I'll tell you whatever you want to hear and I will bring you to all of the realms you wish to visit. But you aren't allowed to cry again.” Jaebum glanced up sharply, staring at Jinyoung as if weighing his words against his expression and smiled, deciding they were sincere. “I find I do not like it when you cry.”

“No more crying, deal,” Jaebum agreed easily as he darted forward for a quick kiss, pecking Jinyoung’s lips and pulling back as he licked his own. “Tell me, I don’t know, something happy.”

Jinyoung told him everything and when Jinyoung’s throat began to hurt, he stopped speaking. In that silence, there was nothing but them, with arms around one another and Jaebum’s face pressed to Jinyoung’s neck and skin covered in goosebumps from the cold. Until Jaebum asked, “Will you go out with me?”

“Now?”

“Well, no, but sometime soon. You know, on a date? You could be my boyfriend,” Jaebum wiggled his eyebrows as he spoke, teasing to mask his nervousness.

“I thought I already was,” Jinyoung said simply. He pressed a kiss to Jaebum’s forehead and sighed, “I’ve never been anyone’s boyfriend before, so maybe I was doing it wrong.”

“You’re doing pretty alright.” Jaebum grinned widely. So Jinyoung liked it rough and he liked to be in control and they didn’t hold hands or go for walks in the park, but Jaebum liked it rough and maybe they could do all that couple-stuff now that the words were out there and everything was official, and they could tell the other members that they were together and laugh at the look on Yugyeom’s face as he tried to figure out who bottomed and defend each other from Youngjae who was certain to react badly. It had gotten too much for Jaebum, the actions and emotions and desires, the secrecy and the hurt and the fear, but now that it was all in the open, that they had acknowledged it, it no longer felt so overwhelming. There wasn’t too much of it, or too little, but just enough to start something with. Eventually, there would be more, but they’d take it slow, work themselves up to the really compromising emotions, and hopefully not cry because of it. Until then though: “I’m still taking you on a date.”

“I would like that,” Jinyoung conceded, smiling softly.

They’d hold hands as they walked in the park, eat a hot dog or too and maybe Jaebum would hold the doors open for Jinyoung just to see the disgusted look on his face. It would be good, and they’d feel good, and what they’d have would be stronger than before, more honest. Real.

“Great.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> Tell me if you spot any grammar mistakes. I wrote this in a rush so there's probably a lot of spelling and grammar mistakes throughout the story.  
> Hope you liked it and enjoyed the story! Please leave a comment!


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